Skip to main content

Rid it's ugly head

How do I not let something consume me. I didn't realize how bad my D-MER was until today. It rid it's ugly head again and again and again. My milk was continue to letdown many times while shopping and trying to get the house together so we could go get our new mattress. I couldn't let go. It's embrassing. I felt like a kid. Getting mad because joel was doing this or that. Or getting mad because the wash cycle wasn't complete, things totally out of my contol. Anger just filled me and now looking back I'm so exhausted. Nursing surprisily was the one time I felt at peace in the last few hours. Knowing tomorrow is just hours away, I'm not ready to go back to work. Anixety has hit its all time max. Joel was trying to be nothing but supportive but it was like for the first time I turned into this whole other person. D-MER is still so new and although people are open to talk about it there's not that much support. I think my next order of business today is trying to find a support group on facebook or reach out to my local LLL to see if there are some other women in my community. I feel like a kid that just had a HUGE tantrum...my body is just so worn out. Mentally and physically I'm ready for bed at 3:30pm. But it's time I pick myself back up. I will not let this ruin me, my marriage or my nursing relationship. I need to stay determined and not let this take over me. I will not. Picking myself up from my boot straps. 


Many have asked about D-MER. I will attach a link to kellymom.com that I believe explains it well. http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mother/d-mer/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

First Time Cloth Mama

When Joel and I found out I was pregnant we were over joyed but then came the fun part, the decisions. We knew for sure the one thing we wanted was to keep everything as natural and chemical free. We originally set out to diaper with Earth's Best or Honest disposables but like most families its expensive. Joel and I had a long hard talk and decided pamper swaddles it will be. That was until I had one of my famous 2am potty breaks during my pregnancy! I found myself laying in bed reading mommy blogs and the light bulb turned on, cloth diapers! The more I looked into it, the more I realized this is for us...now getting Joel on board was my only concern. To my surprise he didn't blink. He was on board and ready to go. Very supportive, one of the many reasons why I love him so much! But then came the hard part. All the different types: fitted, prefolds, covers, AIOs, AI2s, pockets...the list goes on and on. Hemp or organic cotton. All very overwhelming for a first timer, let alone ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Those beauitful moments

Yesterday was a day filled with many ups and downs. A night full of tears and questions. I found myself looking at myself in the mirror, eyes red and puffing asking "Lauren what happened". Life is a scary beautiful mess. I remember going through my PPD counseling and my counselor asked if a new mom asked you one piece of advice what would it be. At first I thought she was nuts! What kind of question is this and why are we ending a rough session like this. She gave me a moment to think.   "Motherhood is scary. Motherhood is beautiful. It pushes you to limits you never thought you were capable of. In the mix of it all you may have that one long night or that one long week that everything seems like its never going end but hang on and make lemonade out of lemons ". Last night I found myself re-reading all my past blog posts and I came a crossed, Life after Baby #1. I found myself re-reading over and over again. Those same thoughts are my current fears, Baby #2. Each...
Post a Comment
Read more

No Good VERY Bad Day.

Oh man! Talk about a crazy case of the Mondays. Last week I returned to work and ended my first week back with Annabelle looking up at me after nursing with a big smile, couldn't be happier. It hasn't been easy returning to work. Wondering if I'm doing the right thing. My mom is team awesome and has been coming into town Sunday- Thursday. Knowing Annabelle's in good loving hands has made it easier...until today.  It was one thing after another today. Took every bone in my body to keep my head above water but I know at the end of the week we get to have three days together. As much as it kills me it makes our time together worth a million bucks.  Two months ago we were getting ready for our first night has a family. I can't believe Annabelle is already two months today! She has made me a better person, wife, daughter, friend, sister. I've been pushed to my limits, mentally and physically. When my water broke I was flooded with so many emotions. I couldn't thi...
Post a Comment
Read more