Motherhood is a beautiful crazy ride

Oh man! Talk about a crazy case of the Mondays. Last week I returned to work and ended my first week back with Annabelle looking up at me after nursing with a big smile, couldn't be happier. It hasn't been easy returning to work. Wondering if I'm doing the right thing. My mom is team awesome and has been coming into town Sunday- Thursday. Knowing Annabelle's in good loving hands has made it easier...until today.  It was one thing after another today. Took every bone in my body to keep my head above water but I know at the end of the week we get to have three days together. As much as it kills me it makes our time together worth a million bucks.  Two months ago we were getting ready for our first night has a family. I can't believe Annabelle is already two months today! She has made me a better person, wife, daughter, friend, sister. I've been pushed to my limits, mentally and physically. When my water broke I was flooded with so many emotions. I couldn't thi

How do I not let something consume me. I didn't realize how bad my D-MER was until today. It rid it's ugly head again and again and again. My milk was continue to letdown many times while shopping and trying to get the house together so we could go get our new mattress. I couldn't let go. It's embrassing. I felt like a kid. Getting mad because joel was doing this or that. Or getting mad because the wash cycle wasn't complete, things totally out of my contol. Anger just filled me and now looking back I'm so exhausted. Nursing surprisily was the one time I felt at peace in the last few hours. Knowing tomorrow is just hours away, I'm not ready to go back to work. Anixety has hit its all time max. Joel was trying to be nothing but supportive but it was like for the first time I turned into this whole other person. D-MER is still so new and although people are open to talk about it there's not that much support. I think my next order of business today is tryi

Whoever thought of daylight savings wasn't thinking of newborns. This should be interesting on top of a growth spurt but this mama isn't complaining. Extra cuddles is just what this mama needs!  My maternity leave is going to an end! Monday I go back to work and then this all gets even more real. Where there is a will, there is a way! The last few weeks we've been battling D-MER and I am so happy I feel atleast one let down a day :) with no negative feelings following! One let down, down  and many more to come! I never thought I would be so excited over something like this. I've always been one to keep thoughts and feelings in. And then when shit hits the fan is when I voice all my thoughts and fears. But this time I told myself that, that's not allowed. I need to ask for support and voice my fears whenever I feel them. And I did just that. I was so worried people were going to judge. D-MER is still so new that not that many know about it. They give you the sideway